Now Open Your Mouth And Say AAAAHHH!!!
The Star Trek Captain Kirk Nutcracker can be purchased for $19.99 (a bargin at a suggested price of $32.99) from the Star Trek Online Store. This wooden nutcracker stands at 11" tall and sports the original Trek series gold uniform in all it's glory.
Upon further inspection, you don't technically get to put your nuts in Kirk's mouth. There's actually a small opening in the chest that holds the nut in place for cracking. I know - probably a disappointment to some Trekkies, but it's still the closest your nuts will ever get to the Captain's gob so begger's really can't be choosers (Am I right there Captain Courage?)
Beam one aboard - no ship should be without one!