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Stay Smokin,
Hot-Toddy
Co-Founder / Pittsburgh Underground

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Artsy Fartsy: Frizzy Haired Ladies Lament - PU Poetry by Yerz Trooley


The Frizzy-Haired Ladies’ Lament 

For those of us who live in climes in local eastern standard times 
Who watch the weatherman each day ‘cause if it rains to our dismay 
We’ll leave the house all in a tizzy to face our day with hair that’s frizzy. 

Humidity that’s on the rise or drizzle that we all despise, 
Our mane becomes a kinky blob and turns us to a frumpled slob 
Like Cosmo Kramer on the tube, whose high hair gleams of multi-lube. 

The TV ads that dangle bait of sleek and shiny hair that’s straight, 
We drop our bucks to buy their gunk, in bottles, cans and other junk 
Or tools that scorch and fry our locks in efforts to knock off your socks. 
But no matter what our bottom line, we’ll still look just like Larry Fine. 

Those of you with naturally straight long hair it seems can hardly wait 
To ask us why we don’t enjoy our natural waves and jump for joy. 
Because, we answer, your fine hair does not need tamed with whip and chair. 
Just as a lion tamer will to tame the beast that
 -  won’t lie still. 

Perhaps we should give up our quest, accept our fate without protest 
For hair that’s smooth as baby’s bum, not rough like chewed-up bubble gum. 
But wouldn’t it be great instead to get ourselves up out of bed 
And see a head of hair that’s killer? But still we channel Phyllis Diller! 

The best that we can do I think, short of going to the brink 
Of pulling off a Britney Spears and shaving it all off with shears 
Is move along to different shores where walking in the out of doors
Means coming home to hair that shines and doesn’t look like Larry Fine’s! 

Yerz Trooley
©August 2009
…proud owner of a flatiron that heats to 3,000 degrees!

Gilda Radner as Roseanne Roseannadanna
(Gilda LIVE 1979)

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